A Simple Path to Your True Self in a World Full of Norms and Conformity
How to Go Back to What and Where You Always Were
I am pretty sure you feel like you need to be someone else to fit in from time to time. We live in a world that rewards fitting in.
But: isn’t our true power in being ourselves? Society’s pressure doesn’t consider the rich, dynamic, and ever-changing beings that we really are.
So, how do we break free from those expectations, no matter if they are from society, our parents, friends, or somewhere else?
“Trying to define yourself is like trying to bite your own teeth.” — Alan Watts
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The Pressure of Conformity —Seeing What You Are Not
We live in a world that often dictates who we should be, how we should act, and what we should believe. But who are we, really, when we shed off all the layers of expectations and societal norms?
The essential challenge is recognizing the genuine you beneath the array of masks you’ve learned to keep up. These masks might be the roles you play — the enthusiastic coworker, the supportive friend, the diligent parent.
Or, they might be the walls you construct to safeguard your tender heart from potential harm.
The truth lies in the fact that all these masks, these roles, they are not you; they are merely vectors of interaction with the world. You, in your true essence, exist beyond and independently of these.
The Path Towards Your True Self — Letting Go of What You Are Not
Imagine walking along a well-trodden path, the one that is taken by most. It’s well lit, easy to navigate, and gives you a sense of safety, but somewhere, it’s not a reflection of your authentic self.
Rather it’s the collective unconscious psyche you follow. The large thought patterns of humanity, which cannot be invididual, because they represent group thinking, conditioned over many thousands of years.
Maybe it’s time you take a step back, examine the horizon, and decide to carve out your own path. It might be entangled with thorny bushes, and you may stumble upon some unfathomable gaps, but remember that it holds the promise of leading you to your true essence, untouched by the dictates of conformity.
It’s okay to not share the same dreams or passions as everyone else. The key here is to be brave enough to wander into the unknown — that is, the undiscovered self — instead of remaining in the comfort of the known — the echo chamber of conformity.
You are not defined by your job title, the brand of clothes you wear, or the neighborhood you live in.
Rather, you are part of an orchestra of thoughts, beliefs, feelings, and experiences uniquely combined to play a melody that’s entirely your own.
Finding a Teacher Among the Way — Leading Closer to Where You Are
“When the student is ready the teacher will appear. When the student is truly ready… The teacher will Disappear.” ― Tao Te Ching
The journey we are on isn’t about becoming someone.
It’s about unbecoming everything we are not.
Here’s a revelation — you’re already there. The ‘you’ that you’re trying to uncover has always been there, lying dormant, buried beneath the layers of fear and anticipation.
It’s time for an awakening, a realization that you are not obligated to fit a preconceived mold. No one else should hold the pen as you write the story of your life. The pen is yours.
‘You’ aren’t borrowed, or adapted, or inherited.
You aren’t graspable, for what is graspable is in form, is conditioned, is a “norm” or part of one. Your true self observes all of this as you read this word. It is here with you. Right here, not somewhere else.
The Final Destination That Isn’t a Destination or Place
“The finger pointing at the moon is not the moon.” — Zen Saying
The finger represents the search, the constant questioning, and guiding system that helps you get to “the moon,” but is not the moon.
It helps you get to where you truly are, but it is not your true self.
The finger is the teacher that helps you get there, that points gently, saying, “look, there you are, step into it.” —But you have to take the last step, without “doing as you are told”. By being fully here, now.
It is actually difficult to describe what I try to say because it is beyond description.
The reflections of your true self are the things you love doing, they aren’t you, but see them as shadows of your true self guiding you back.
Allow those reflections to guide you closer to your distinctive essence.
Reflecting on All of This Without Pressuring Yourself to Be What You Are
Just as a bud doesn’t bloom overnight, your unique self too won’t emerge instantly. This is a journey, not a destination.
It takes time. But every step you take toward accepting and nurturing your unique self, you step away from conformity.
Surround yourself with supportive allies. These are the people who encourage your individuality, respect your freedom to choose, and empower you to walk your path with strength and confidence.
Their supportive presence provides a safety net, allowing you to take risks, to grow, and to explore without fear of judgment or criticism.
To find such allies, join the slack community I am currently building. What I wrote above is what I intend this community to be in its final form.
Read this article for more, or directly fill out this form to join:
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Yes, I may have thrown around a lot of poetic quotes in this article.
I am trying out some new things, structuring my content a bit differently than usual.
You can tell me if you like it or not. Have a good one, much love.
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