Your True Self Is Trapped in Your Fears

Facing the Beast(s) Within, Gently, Without Force Or Flight

We all have fears. Some of them feel like tiny ants nibbling away at our confidence. Others are like towering beasts that cast long, dark shadows over our lives. 

It’s like we built this freaking huge tower of fears over time. Layer by layer, brick by brick. And now we’re stuck inside. 

The view sucks in here! 

All we see are more fears and doubts. We forget that there’s a whole beautiful world outside this limiting tower.

Staying Present, Even With Your Fears

I used to constantly try to squash my fears or run away from them. But I’ve realized that doesn’t work. Just the other night, I had a dream where my fears surrounded me from all sides. 

My first instinct was to lash out and attack them or make a panicked escape. But something told me to stay put instead. 

As I stood there calmly, I found my fears didn’t overtake me. 

When I stopped struggling against them, they lost their power.

What I learned is that fears feed on resistance and conflict. 

See, we humans tend to have a negativity bias. Our ancestors needed to constantly scan for threats to survive. 

As a result, we’ve evolved to zero in on the most dire scenarios and shocking events. Our minds literally anticipate the worst.

The More You Fight Them, the Stronger They Become.

It’s better to gently allow your fears to come and go without judgement. Observe them compassionately and see them for what they are — passing storms, not endless hurricanes.

Fears often originate from a place of perceived lack or loss. 

For me, abandonment has always been a primal wound and source of anxiety. But when those worries arise now, I guide myself back to the present moment. 

So How the Heck Do We Bring Our True Selves Out Of Hiding?

How do we demolish this freaking tower of fears brick by brick? Where do we even start?

I’ll share what’s helped me. It’s not a 5 Easy Steps to Fearlessness kinda thing. More like an ongoing exploration. 

The fears won’t disappear overnight but with practice we can loosen their grip little by little. 

Here’s where to start: Get curious…

I tune into what I DO have rather than obsessing over what I’m afraid of losing.

By making space for your fears instead of bottling them up, you create room for your true self to emerge. 

Your authentic spirit has likely been trapped under layers of limiting beliefs and negative thought patterns. 

But you can set it free through courage and self-awareness.

You slowly start noticing when your fears hijack your thoughts. Jot them down as they come up. How would you rather like to react to them?

Then write out more empowering alternatives focused on your deeper desires. Over time, you can retrain your mind to override the fear-based mental loops.

Get curious about what beliefs or stories you’ve taken on that created these fears. 

Where did they come from? 

Were they ever really true or just something someone told you? 

Question that crap!

Start small by noticing when a limiting belief pops up. Literally say “There’s a fear thought!” out loud. 

Name it to tame it. This builds awareness so they have less power over you.

Then get playful with it. Thank your mind for trying to keep you safe, but let it know you got this. 

You Don’t Need These Old Stories Anymore. 

Try on a more empowering belief instead, even if you don’t fully believe it yet. Fake it til you make it!

Pay attention to how fears make you feel. Get into your body. Where do you feel them? As tightness, heaviness, tension? Breathe into those places.

Imagine breathing in light and breathing out the dark. 

Stop trying to think your way out of fears. You can’t logic your way out of these sneaky buggers. 

Get out of your head and into your body. Dance, shake, scream, tap, draw…get moving and expressing, not thinking!

Share your fears with someone you trust, even one small thing. (Such as on our slack community)

Bringing them into the light makes them less scary. 

And you’ll probably realize you’re not alone! We all have fears.

I know it’s not easy, but self-love and self-acceptance are key. 

All parts of you are welcome here. The scared parts too. Send them some compassion.

Keep taking baby steps forward from that courageous place inside you, not the fearful place. And be patient with yourself! This is a journey, not a race.

Have fun!

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