Thanks for these reminders - overthinking, overdoing, overscrolling are my gotos. It's hard to acknowledge feelings when they've been suppressed for so long - have to take it slowly...
Yes, it's a process, be gentle with yourself. Maybe set a max timer for social media (phone settings --> digital wellbeing or similar). Always up to talk a bit on slack or here:) take care🙏🏼
Thanks, Tobias - I really appreciate it - I've been trying to learn to relax over the past year, but it tends to trigger all these defenses, so it's often one step forward, two steps back. 😬
I've been trying to make a model to identify all the ways of breaking out of these doom loops, and ways they keep going. Hopefully having a visual guide will help.
Thanks for sharing, Brian. I dont think you can really move backwards, because you can truly learn from everything. It may also have to do with you actively building the defenses because you always want to find solutions. At least that was a big thing in my life. Always trying to "solve" all my problems and finding / releasing my defenses, which becomes a "problem" on its own. Relax. You can step forward. Trust in yourself. Do daily guided meditations. See the beauty in the small things and focus on your breath. :)
Hi Brian, I feel you. I’m coming out of a period of just over a decade where I pretty seriously self-isolated but choice when not at work, and simultaneously drank quite a bit. I’ve been slowly working on shifting my mindset over the past two years, and it’s an ongoing work in progress. One of the biggest helps for me is finding beauty and joy in things, finding things to be grateful for. They are not intended to paper over or negate the negative aspects of life, but rather to balance them. Finding silver linings and/or unrelated things to be grateful for really helps me acknowledge the hard things and allow those darker feelings to exist without fear of spiraling into despair. I hope that helps, and I’m also willing to be an ear if ever you need one.
I chuckled several times because I’ve done all those things but got a funny, yet agonizing visual of those times in the past. I prefer to feel and let it run its course now. Thanks for a great read!
Thanks for these reminders - overthinking, overdoing, overscrolling are my gotos. It's hard to acknowledge feelings when they've been suppressed for so long - have to take it slowly...
Yes, it's a process, be gentle with yourself. Maybe set a max timer for social media (phone settings --> digital wellbeing or similar). Always up to talk a bit on slack or here:) take care🙏🏼
Thanks, Tobias - I really appreciate it - I've been trying to learn to relax over the past year, but it tends to trigger all these defenses, so it's often one step forward, two steps back. 😬
I've been trying to make a model to identify all the ways of breaking out of these doom loops, and ways they keep going. Hopefully having a visual guide will help.
Thanks for sharing, Brian. I dont think you can really move backwards, because you can truly learn from everything. It may also have to do with you actively building the defenses because you always want to find solutions. At least that was a big thing in my life. Always trying to "solve" all my problems and finding / releasing my defenses, which becomes a "problem" on its own. Relax. You can step forward. Trust in yourself. Do daily guided meditations. See the beauty in the small things and focus on your breath. :)
Hi Brian, I feel you. I’m coming out of a period of just over a decade where I pretty seriously self-isolated but choice when not at work, and simultaneously drank quite a bit. I’ve been slowly working on shifting my mindset over the past two years, and it’s an ongoing work in progress. One of the biggest helps for me is finding beauty and joy in things, finding things to be grateful for. They are not intended to paper over or negate the negative aspects of life, but rather to balance them. Finding silver linings and/or unrelated things to be grateful for really helps me acknowledge the hard things and allow those darker feelings to exist without fear of spiraling into despair. I hope that helps, and I’m also willing to be an ear if ever you need one.
*by choice
Love your tongue in cheek approach to this topic, Tobias! Great way to get the message across and made me smile!
Thanks a lot Claire! Looking forward to the stories you share on your substack:)
I chuckled several times because I’ve done all those things but got a funny, yet agonizing visual of those times in the past. I prefer to feel and let it run its course now. Thanks for a great read!
Thanks a lot, Stephanie! Do you still do those things or practice something like it?
I’m much more gentler on myself now, and instead of running from my feelings I focus on filling those places with compassion as I feel into them
A+++++ for this title. Haven’t read it yet, but I know it’s going to be great. Driving in now!